Preparing for the first day at school

Starting school for a child can be daunting, exciting, exhausting all rolled into one. There are a lot of emotions going on and that doesn’t even start to account for the parents emotions too.

When a child is starting school planning and preparation is key.

On the first few occasions, which can always be touch and go, (for you both) it is best to make it a positive morning and once you have arrived at school say your goodbyes and leave without dawdling.

The more time you take the more likely you are to get an otherwise OK child to become distressed at the prospect of staying there without you.

It is a big step, a big milestone to start school. There are a lot of elements that are new for a child and can be quite an overwhelming time.

If your child is strongly protesting or is visibly upset, it is hard, but often it is best to leave them with a teacher after a cuddle and some reassurance.

The longer you stay in this type of situation the longer the more you tend to inadvertently feed the anxious and upset behaviour which in turn tends to escalate it. If your child does not settle in after a time the school (should) will contact you.

• Give them lots of extra love and attention in them lead up and during the first few weeks as it is a big adjustment
• Allow them to talk through their thoughts and feelings. Talk to them as much as possible and listen to them, especially if they have questions or are showing anxiety or fears. never be dismissive of their concerns of fears. It is important to address them in a positive light to assist in them developing the confidence to tackle them.
• Visit the school and participate in any orientation
• Teach them school type rules so that they are aware that they may need to abide by them when at school i.e. sitting, putting their hand up to speak, etc. This helps to prepare them for what the expectations may be at school and it won’t seem quite as foreign to them.
• Boost their self esteem by praising them and using positive phrases.
• Read to them as much as possible. A good appreciation of books is helpful foundation to starting school.
• Give them more responsibility around the house.
• Encourage drawing, writing, singing and dancing.

It is normal for some children to have separation anxiety but here are some tips that should aid the transition to school:

• Talk about school and in particular the first day of school in a positive way.
• Be positive about the experience and happy (even if you don’t feel it inside).
• Use the orientation as a good time to talk about school and what they liked to build it up as a good thing.
• Try the school uniform on and they could even wear it around the house a bit.
• Pack their bag and have their lunch in their lunch box as a practice prior to going to school.
• Talk about what school will/should be like. Discuss any fears they may have- it’s better to acknowledge and address them rather than brush them aside. It is a big deal for some children and they need reassurance.
• Are they ready? Evaluate your thoughts on if they are ready and talk with professionals who care for them to get their views
• Encourage independence such as blowing their own nose, dressing themselves, tending to own needs.
• Talk about going to school. Allows for open communication for the child to express their feelings, thoughts or fears or excitement. Try not to show your feelings if they’re not positive ones as they probably have their own anxiety.
• Do the necessary paperwork early to ensure they are enrolled as early as possible. Have all paperwork completed before the first day
• Visit the school, go to orientation day
• Buy appropriate shoes, ones they can do up themselves.
• Shop for school together, get them involved in the process; choosing their own lunch box etc.
• Do some ‘dry’ runs, in dressing, going to the school, etc.
• Do picnic lunches using the lunch box and bag.
• Do a practice run/s, as if you were going to school, so as it is not stressful and they know what to expect/do.
• Re-assure and talk about their fears/concerns.
• Prepare yourself for a quick goodbye. Often a child can feed off our own feelings and so we need to remain as positive and happy for show purposes.

You may have a grouchy, tired child in those first few weeks while they adapt but, it’s just their way of adjusting to the new situation.

They may be extra emotional at times also.

There is a lot for them to learn and take in when they start school and it can be quite a daunting and exhausting time for them.

There are rules to remember, friends to make, teachers to listen to, routines to learn and so on.

• Picking a child up on time and being genuinely interested in their day will help with the adjustment and reduce any anxiety.
• They may be very excited and blurt out everything that happens during the day or they may be more reserved and quiet about their day. Be patient of either and be supportive. If they really do not seem to be adjusting or settling in speak to their teacher to check there is no underlying cause or concern. Be alert to bullying as it sadly can occur in this age group also.
• Make yourself available to talk.
• Making after school times special can help.
• Try not to organise too much in the first few weeks so they can relax after the have finished for the day rather than rush to something else.
• An early bedtime can help.
• As much routine in the rest of their life can offer the stability they may well be craving whilst adjusting to the new school environment.