First few weeks at school

Starting school is a big change for your child.

Understanding and helping your child adjust and handle all the feelings associated with starting school can help reduce their stress and anxiety and provide them with some positive coping strategies.

It is a big adjustment for a child to make.

Your child may be emotional at times. They may be more tired. They may be grumpy.

There is a lot for them to learn and take in when they start school.

It can be quite a daunting and exhausting time, especially during those first few weeks as they transition into school.

It can be a whirlwind time of tiredness, pure love as well as learning to settle into a routine.

It is normal for a child to have all sorts of feelings about starting school.

Feelings may include excitement or they may be feelings of pure fear or nervousness.

All these feelings are common and normal.

During the first few weeks when they are adjusting to the new environment there may be a change in behaviour.

Some behaviours may be easier to spot such as tantrums or crying, while others may be more subtle such as being a little quieter than usual.

It is all a way of your child coping and finding their way in their new environment and new normal. It is a lot to take in and a lot to learn and adapt to in those first few weeks.

• Refusing to or a defiance in complying with routines and rules
• Trouble getting started in doing or completing a task
• Change of eating habits- may be an increase or loss of appetite, becoming fussier with foods
• They may be easily distracted or have difficulty in settling
• Withdrawn or less engaged
• Clinging behaviour
• Aggressive behaviours such as kicking, hitting, shouting
• Regressive behaviours such as thumb sucking, bed wetting, baby talk
• Increased negotiations for participating in things
• Anxiety or anxious behaviours such as shyness, fidgeting, stomach aches, need for constant reassurance
• Increased or appearance of tantrums or crying
• Sleeping difficulties such as trouble falling asleep or wanting to stay awake or nightmares

All these behaviours are completely normal for a child to respond to and make sense of a challenging situation.

If these type of behaviours persist or appear to be increasing in nature past those first few weeks and/or seem to be interfering with your child’s daily life then it is recommended to seek help and professional advice. There may be some underlying cause to the continuance of the behaviour.

There is so much to take in and learn when a child first starts school. There are rules to remember, friends to make, teachers to listen to, routines to learn and so on.

• Picking a child up on time and being genuinely interested in their day will help with the adjustment and reduce any anxiety.
• They may be very excited and blurt out everything that happens during the day or they may be more reserved and quiet about their day. Be patient of either and be supportive. If they really do not seem to be adjusting or settling in speak to their teacher to check there is no underlying cause or concern. Be alert to bullying as it sadly can occur in this age group also.
• Make yourself available to talk and making after school times special can help.
• Try not to organise too much in the first few weeks so they can relax after the have finished for the day rather than rush to something else.
• An early bedtime can help.
• If you notice a change in your child’s behaviour ask yourself- What is my child feeling? Have they behaved this way before? How can I further support them? You can also make a note in a small diary of the behaviours during the first few weeks so that if they continue and you feel you need to seek additional help you have a record to demonstrate your concerns and what support you have offered.
• If you find your child seems to be experiencing behaviours out of character then consult your child’s teacher and chat with how they are doing and seem to be coping at school. Collaboration with the teacher can be a great starting point to working out how your child may be coping and feeling.
• Spend time with your child. This is a key point in that so much has changed for your child and having the consistency and the normality of spending time with you may be enough support to adjust to the first few weeks and share their feelings.