Childhood fears and anxiety

Fears in childhood are actually quite common.

What a child feels afraid of can grow and change with the child.

Adults can play a role in helping children feel safe and secure which will assist a child to deal with and potentially overcome their fear.

Most often the fears are like a fear of monsters or day to day things like a fear of not learning to read.

Fears are very real to children.

Children develop fears and anxieties generally as they grow and learn more about the world around them.

There are at least 80 documented well known and common fears in childhood.

Fear develops through a combination of genetic and learned factors. They have also been known to develop through observations.

Fears can include being afraid of new situations, or new people to being afraid of the dark and so on or they can age related such as separation anxiety or stranger anxiety.

By helping a child to work through their fears enables them to strengthen their feelings of power in relation to their world.

For example, helping a child through their fears allows them to handle situations that may provoke anxiety or fear such as dentists, doctors, fear of death, the dark, etc.

Normal fears in children can be handled by helping them face them and not pretending they don’t exist or allowing them to feel that you don’t acknowledge them or respect that they have a fear.

If fears are extreme or keep a child from doing normal things, it might be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

• Listen and acknowledge their fears.
• Validate.
• Don’t make fun of or ridicule.
• Empathize but don’t be condescending.
• Support.
• Help them in making sense of the concerns or underlying factors.
• Comfort.
• Re-assure them that you are there, especially if they have a recurring fear.
• Don’t try to brush it aside and tell them to lie down and go back to sleep, or go and play or not to think about it.
• You don’t need to interpret their fear or be able to help them deal with it so it may be necessary to seek professional help if the fear is persistent or causing distress, especially if you cannot pinpoint an underlying reason/event that may be the cause. This can be to us quite simple, such as moving house, but to the child quite stressful and can be a trigger.
• A good idea if the fear seems to be affecting them more then keep a diary. This will help you to see if there is a pattern or trigger and will help a professional.
• Have a consistent routine.
• Don’t try to coerce them into being brave.
• Avoid TV programs that are scary or inappropriate that may accentuate the fear.
• Avoid over tiredness.
• Avoid complete darkness, this can help their imagination/perception of unseen things in the dark and may trigger more fears.
• Reassure, comfort. Let them know and feel they are safe.
• Stay with them until they are either calm or asleep, let them guide you if they have a fear of the dark for example.
• Talk about the fears. By helping the child put the fear into words helps them articulate and make sense of exactly what it is that scares them.Talking together about the fear can sometimes help them to make sense of it, but not always, as they may be scared and not comfortable to. It’s OK if they prefer not to.
• Provide opportunities to role play or dramatic play to work through their fear in a non threatening way that they have control over.
• Use desensitization or gradually build up to the fear of the object or the experience.
• Help them learn skills to deal with the fear. This will slowly help them address and deal with their feels in a supportive way. Encourage them to progressively come face their fears.

Sometimes fears can become so extreme, persistent and focused that they develop into phobias.

A phobia is a strong, irrational, persistent and often debilitating condition.

A phobia significantly influences and interferes with a child’s usual daily activities.

A phobia is a more intense fear where a child may not want to go outside or refuse to sleep in their own room.

Fortunately, phobias and fears are treatable.

Be mindful that if a child’s anxieties persist and consistently interfere with their ability to interact or enjoy daily life it is recommended to seek professional help.

Seeking help to support a child with fears or phobias is crucial if:

• The fear seems extreme and is impacting the quality of life.
• The fear seems to surpass the general age for a fear.
• The fear causes a child to become extremely upset, distressed or have constant tantrums because of the fear.
• The fear hinders the child from doing something such as going to school, being apart from an adult, etc.
• The fear presents physical symptoms such as stomach pains, headaches, dizziness or breathlessness.