Can you spoil a baby?

It is crazy to think think that there are perimeters placed on a parent due to the potential perception that too much cuddling/love/attention can result in spoiling a baby

Let’s be clear you can not spoil a child.

A baby is purely needing to have their needs met. A newborn and young baby learn that their cry will in turn meet their need.

They are neurologically wired to cry to have their needs met. A baby will stop crying when they are being carried.

Responding to a baby’s cries is optimal. This can be by holding them, rocking them, touching them, etc.

In doing this you are building a bond and a secure baby.

There is no reason to even entertain the concept that too much attention to a baby or young child is spoiling them. That is completely absurd.

Babies and children have some needs that only others can satisfy such as plenty of love, care, attention, and affection.

Children thrive on the kind and loving attention and lays the foundation for growth emotionally, physically and intellectually.

This is most certainly not spoiling but rather providing a warm, caring loving environment that fosters growth and development and a sense of security.

Some believe that comforting a crying baby will just encourage a child to cry more.

Let’s absorb this. And then dismiss this for the myth it is.

All baby’s cry for a reason!

A baby’s cries are signals of a need.

You cannot spoil your infant by meeting these needs.

In fact, prompt attention to the needs gives babies’ confidence that their world is safe and predictable and it will help to build a positive bond between you and them.

As babies mature physically and socially, you do need to change your expectations.

If you have responded sensitively to their needs during the first 3- 6 months, babies are better able to calm themselves in some situations.

Sometimes adults think children who do unpleasant or annoying things/behaviours are spoiled.

Sometimes what adults see as bad behaviour may simply be normal behaviour for a child at that particular age and developmental stage (see our behaviour section for more information) or a way for seeking attention.

While this can be unpleasant and irritating for an adult, it doesn’t mean the child is spoiled.

At 6 Months

A child doesn’t see themselves as a separate person so they can’t manipulate you or get into a power struggle knowingly.

By responding to their needs you are being sensitive to them and what they need.

For example, if you respond to their every whim you aren’t spoiling them. Or if you carry them or shower them in hugs and kisses you aren’t spoiling them.

Physical contact actually makes them feel safe and secure.

Crying at this age is their way of expressing they need attention and something fixed.

By responding to them they will feel loved and secure.

At 12 Months

A child is starting to see themselves as a separate being.

If they throw a tantrum or behave ‘badly’ do you give in and ‘spoil’ them after the behaviour?

It is important to not give in to tantrums or they will become more frequent in order to get their own way, and it’s important to remain calm.

A child at this age is understanding how things work, so for example, if you constantly shower them in gifts you technically aren’t spoiling them, but you are at risk of teaching them that things come easily and not to value things as much.

By doing everything for the child isn’t ‘teaching’ the child to be independent and they will start to expect to have everything done for them… so that is the start of ‘spoiling’.

As they become older if you constantly give into their demands (such as at the shops for that chocolate) can lead to spoilt like behaviour.