When a child bites

Some children are biters.

Some are hitters while others are  more prone to being a screamer.

All these behaviours are common childhood behaviours as a child navigates their world and learns and develops

Biting is a common childhood behaviour.

Whilst we can all agree that a child who bites is not a pleasant component of childhood, it is a common one.

A child bites to express a need or to cope with a challenging situation.

The frequency and prevalence of a child who bites will vary.

Some children will be a biter and others won’t.

A child will bite for a variety or reasons.

It may be teething, exploring a new toy with their mouth or it may be developmentally related.

It is key to be mindful of the cause in the reason behind why a child bites. Identifying the reasons behind the biting can impact and facilitate the development of an effective and responsive strategy.

Shaming and harsh punishment does not address nor reduce biting.

A child often resorts to biting as they grow and learn to verbalize themselves and express their feelings and frustration. A lack of communication and language skills are often at the root cause of a child biting.

Biting can be seen as a way for a child to express themselves in the moment

Once we are able understand the different reasons for children biting it helps us to better deal with the situation and assist the child.

Biting generally occurs when a child is under emotional stress, when they cannot understand or cope with.

Biting in this instance is an expression of distress and pain and your child may seem very upset or angry.

A child may bite for a variety of reasons.

• Frustration is large reason children bite.
• Lack of language skills. A child may bite as a substitute to words as they can’t yet easily express themselves.
• Biting may happen when children get into a situation they feel they can’t control. This is dependent upon their age and stage of development. For example, children under 3 yrs are usually not ready to play in a cooperative way with other children. So if they are in a situation they can’t ‘fix’ they may respond by hitting or biting.
• They have not yet learned other ways to cope. If biting gets a strong response, which is likely, they believe that it is successful and may try it again. Sometimes, too, the youngest children bite when they are playing with others who are bigger and stronger.
• Often children may bite as they feel powerless. They discover that biting is a way of getting some power in the situation.
• Children also bite as they are teething and need to help their sore gums.
• Sometimes biting is how the infant explores and experiences the world through putting everything into their mouth and experimenting.
• It can turn into a game for the child once they see the reaction it brings. So don’t let them think that it is funny or a game and teach them that biting hurts.
• A child is feeling overwhelmed with the situation. This may include the environment in regards to the noise, lighting or activity level.
• A child may require more active play.
• A child may bite if they are over-tired.

The best way to help the incidences remain low or nonexistent is to supervise, observe and monitor.

Supervising, observing and monitoring can assist you to identify and potentially remove triggers in steps to address the behaviour behind the biting.

Identifying the cause of the biting, what is the trigger will help us address and ultimately rectify the biting issue.

We can do this by keeping a watch on when the biting happens and what is happening just before.

It isn’t always possible to remove the cause, but sometimes if you can work out what is triggering the biting, you can remove the trigger or get in first.

During the supervision, observation and monitoring stage asking yourself some key questions can support the identifying the cause and assists in the response and strategies.

Questions such as:

• What was happening right before the bite?
• What was the child doing?
• Where were they?
• Who did the child bite? (Was it the same child again?)
• Who was caring for the child at the time?

Adopting consistent strategies will support the response and reduction of the incidents of biting.

If you see signs where you feel the child is on the verge of biting, based on your observations and monitoring, you can potentially advert another biting incident by reducing the tension and shifting the child’s attention prior to a bite. This also shifts the focus from the potential bite

• Distracting
• Re-directing
• Engaging and interacting with the child. Suggest ways to deal with the situation through problem solving.
• Assist with the tools for the child to express themselves by providing suggestions or alternatives. If your child is about to bite for oral stimulation offer a teething toy or snack.
• Consistency
• Positive reinforcement
• Plan ahead
• Find alternatives.

It is important to address the behaviour immediately after the bite.

1. Be calm. It is key to be mindful of your reactions in dealing with the situation.  A calm response will assist to defuse the situation.
2. Be firm. Use a matter of fact voice to explain. Keep it short and simple. Comment on who the victim is feeling.
3. Comfort the victim. This removes the negative attention of the child who bit and replaces it to the child who was bitten. Focusing on the child who bit is actually quite reinforcing and can actually cause the biting behavior to continue, rather than stop. By placing a larger emphasis on the child that has been bitten clearly communicates that biting does not result in more attention. Modelling concern and sympathy for the child who was bitten also teaches empathy.
4. Identify the cause and make note to the trigger.
5. Offer alternatives. Share ways to have dealt with the situation such as “Use your words- say NO”.
6. Help them move on. Ask what they would like to do now or offer some activities.

• Offer as much love and affection as you can at other times.
• Make sure that the child’s needs are protected so they don’t need to bite. Make sure that they are not getting the worst of the deal.
• If your child has already bitten, quickly tell them that is not OK to bite and remove them from the situation.
• If you can, get in first and avoid situations that your child cannot cope with.
• When your child does bite, say firmly: “We don’t bite, biting hurts”.
• Respond promptly, firmly and calmly to biting. Show your disapproval without anger, remove them from the situation and help them find another outlet for their feelings.
• Plan ahead if possible to avoid situations where you know your child might bite.
• Never shame or use harsh punishment. This includes not biting back. Not only is it terrifying for the child it is unacceptable.