Rearrange the setting/situation to avoid problems or pre-empt the situation to alleviate potential problems
As a child grows, learns and explores they learn to become capable and develop skills and experience in situations.
Depending on the child’s developmental stage and age often means that there are tell tale behavioural challenges that occur.
This is evident in the ‘terrible twos’ catch phrase. This is due to the age and the level of frustration t and feelings they may have and the capability of being able to express themselves and develop independence.
Focusing on the behaviour often tends to lead to placing an emphasis on the negative rather than identifying and looking at the root cause of the behaviour.
It is key to look at the cause and understand the needs, thoughts, feelings or intentions that are driving the behaviour.
Ideally we can identify and examine the most common challenging behaviours based on age, stage of development and certain behavioural traits.
This can lead to engaging in strategies that have been proven to support and guide a child’s behaviour and lend to a more positive outcome for all.
Age
Behaviour Traits
Tips
18 Month Old
More demanding and less adaptable.
Can be quite dependent. They may have strong needs and demands, but cannot communicate them effectively.
May resist being touched.
Rearrange the setting/situation to avoid problems or pre-empt the situation to alleviate potential problems.
Talking to them usually doesn’t work as they are not at the age to be reasoned with so short responses or words will work better.
Distract, redirect.
2 Year Old
Great imbalance. Moves between extremes of aggression and withdrawal. Bossy, rigid, selfish, possessive, jealous. Likes sameness, repetition, predictability; changes are very hard, even minor ones; toys, etc. all have a ‘proper place’. It’s the age of opposite extremes.
More adaptable.
Tends to be quiet and calm.
Willing to cuddle and accept affection.
They enjoy rituals, especially at bedtimes.
Can display their frustration in the way of a ‘tantrum’.
Distract them or change the scene.
Can be less demanding.
Show them lots of attention and affection and praise for the good behaviour.
Avoid giving too many choices.
Avoid questions that can be answered by no.
Follow a good consistent routine.
Praise good behaviour.
Anticipate difficult times or situations and avoid if possible. Don’t expect them to wait for things or to share easily.
3 year olds
Often time of emotional calm. May be happy, contented much of the time.
Gets along well with others. Likes others and wants to please them
Enjoy talking/conversation; time of great motor uncertainty and fluctuating fine motor capabilities.
At this age, children tend to be much better with almost anyone other than the principal caregiver.
Change subject or distract by bringing in something nice so child forgets to object.
Simplify changes as much as possible.
Avoid head-on clashes….. pick your battles and let some small things slide, if safe to do so.
Let them know they are greatest child ever and praise and give lots of love and affection as emotions may be very fragile. They may express fears or anxieties. So we could use heavy use of positive phrases: “let’s,” how about,” “and “maybe you could.
Give in when things aren’t important.
Difficulty making changes. May be good in long periods of play, but very poor at changing from one activity to another.
Enthusiasm, good-will and common sense and of course praise.
4 year olds
They tend to be energetic and may go to extremes. Often enjoys own impish, humorous ways.
May be selfish, rough, impatient, and loud. Loves adventure. Socially silly and larger-than-life manners.
Ignore profanity, boasting, super-silly way of talking, if possible, but enjoy the silliness and even join in with it.
They usually like and respects boundaries/limits.
5 year olds
Tend to be calm, quiet, and well-balanced.
Usually tries only what he knows the can do, so is comfortably well-adjusted. Friendly, loving, appreciative, wants to please and do the right thing; wants and means to be good; not yet able to admit to wrongdoing and as much as they try, does not always tell the truth.
Prevention is much better than punishment. A child’s wish to be good and do the right thing is strong.
Praising is always a great way to promote good behaviour.
If given consistent expectations they will learn what is acceptable and what is not.
5-6 year olds
Ignore refusal or be impersonal when child answers commands with “I won’t.”
They can be highly emotional at times. Loves one minute, hates the next.
Praise it may not be easy to find something to praise but try hard; avoid resistance and head-on collisions; sidestep issues if possible- choose your battles
Patience and skill.
There may be much confusion. May demand, rebel, argue, and fight. When in good mood, is cheerful, energetic and enthusiastic.
Needs a lot of praise, but behaviour often merit criticism. This only makes all behaviour worse.
Age of extreme imbalance. May be very rude, resistant, and defiant.
