Rewards and Punishments method

Behaviour management during the early years can be tough, it can be trying.

The key is consistency of approach.

Sometimes you may be pushed to the limit or find yourself searching for ways or alternatives to what you are doing .

The reward method as a form of behaviour management can be a topical method.

You tend to either love or loathe this type of discipline in a behaviour management strategy.

Be mindful that behaviour management is a combination of consistency, age appropriateness in the strategies as well as having realistic expectations.

Therefore, if the reward method is something you adopt as a component of your behaviour management we recommend having a clear strategy in adopting it and limiting it in your overall behaviour management strategy. Let us explain why.

The use of guidance instead of punishment is a much more effective tool in managing challenging and unwanted behaviour.

Rewards and punishments have long been accepted as a way to deal with behaviour, especially challenging behaviour.

If you use these rewards and punishments as your main method in dealing with unwanted behaviours you may find that you end up creating a bigger problem than the initial behaviour, particularly punishment, as generally this way of dealing with behaviours does not actually address the behaviour or try to correct it.

You can usually address or correct unwanted or unacceptable behaviour by using other more effective techniques. It has been suggested that this form of behaviour management has a tendency to ignore the actual behaviour rather just masking the issues behind the behaviour as a replacement for supporting a child to identify and deal with the behaviour and triggers.

By and large we would advise to avoid this as your primary method of dealing with unwanted behaviours.

This is due to it not commonly be considered an effective way to deal with unwanted behaviours on the whole or in the longer term.

Common side effects from the punishment side (i.e. smacking or being sent to their room) often lead to retaliation and revenge as the child will feel controlled.

Whilst the form of addressing the behaviour may temporarily suppress the unwanted behaviour but it does not eliminate it, nor does it teach the child life skills or effective ways to deal with situations, make decisions or take responsibility for their actions.

Children who have been handled with rewards and punishment usually, according to studies, are irresponsible later in life and will constantly challenge you to enable them to feel that they have a degree of control.

The flip side of the punishment, being the reward aspect, is if you were to use this as your primary method of disciplining your child then they will develop the mentality of “what’s in it for me” and will only participate in what you want or ask on the condition they get something in return and are rewarded for their part.

When you deal with unwanted behaviour in this way then you are the only one in control and you are taking responsibility for their behaviour, you are removing the choice from them and then generally it doesn’t build a healthy, positive or bonded relationship between you and the child.

• Have clear expectations and guidelines
• Be consistent
• Distract the child’s attention to another object, place, thing, etc
• Speak calmly down at their level
• Tell them what you do want and focus on the good behaviour
• Don’t get frustrated and shout or become aggressive back
• Ask them to talk to you to tell you what the problem is (depending upon their age and vocabulary). This allows them to feel you are respecting their feelings and gets them to verbalize the problem and you can both find a solution
• Be alert for possible triggers to a situation and try to preempt these
• Take cues from the child…. if they are tired they will be more likely to not be able to cope with circumstances
• Praise good behaviour
• Supervise
• Interact and ‘muck’ in with their play. If you are part of their play you can help to guide a potential tantrum from becoming a full blown one
• Give children some choice so that they feel they are in control of some part of their world.