Emotional signs of separation/divorce on kids
Separation or divorce is an emotional time for everyone.
Kids can react or show their difficulty in the adjustment in many ways.
Like adults, children will all react and deal with separation and divorce differently. How a child reacts depends on their age, personality, the level of conflict with their parents and many other factors.
For children under 5 years it can be particularly confusing and difficult to understand.
Parents, friend’s, siblings and other family members all contribute to the way a child deals with the situation.
For example continued fighting can be harmful whereas a situation of support, reassurance, stability and consistency can help to maintain a positive attitude as well as relationship with all involved.
In an ideal world children need, and would receive, the continuing care and support of both parents.
Sometimes this may not be possible.
It is important in this instance to not over compensate for the loss of support from the other parent but rather to show your love through your support, empathy and compassion as well as trying to maintain as much normality and routine to their lives.
The way a child deals with such an emotional time can vary.
Sometimes children can blame themselves for the breakup.
Sometimes they can just act out their feelings.
Sometimes a child can feel slightly relieved as they can see an end to the constant fighting and negativity in the house.
Children can experience a range of emotions and unfortunately there a range of reactions and behaviours associated with this time.
Signs a child is having difficulty coping with separation or divorce
- Bed wetting when otherwise would be dry.
- Difficulty sharing with others when not normally a problem.
- Being more clingy towards one or the other parent.
- Withdrawn or trouble speaking.
- Depression.
- Deterioration of skills…particularly language.
- Reluctance to do something they loved or routine events.
- Behavioural problems such as fighting, acting out.
- Tearful outbursts… more frequently.
- Hurting themselves.
- Drug or alcohol abuse (older children).
Sometimes despite your best efforts things don’t seem to be improving for your child and may even seem to be getting worse.
It may be a sign that your child is stuck in depression, anxiety, or anger and could use some additional support.
