Helping minimise the impact of separation
When there is a separation or divorce a child may fret about the parent that is absent.
They may also develop physical and/or emotional dependency on a particular parent. This is considered normal.
How a child reacts depends on their age, personality, the level of conflict with their parents and many other factors.
For children under 5 years it can be particularly confusing and difficult to understand. Separation can be a major crisis for a child even one as young as less than 2 years.
Children need the continuing care and support of both parents if at all possible during this emotional and often confusing time.
Suddenly going from a family environment to being a single parent family can be scary, emotional and daunting. It can be all these things for kids involved too.
While it is hard as there is so much that you are going through it is important to be aware and mindful of your child’s thoughts and feelings.
Helping your kids cope with divorce is paramount and means providing stability in your home and attending to your children’s needs with a reassuring, positive attitude with bucket loads of love and attention.
Strategies to help minimise the emotional impact
- Have a consistent routine that is as close to that of before the separation.
- Have a plan and try to stick to it with sharing the care to ensure the routine of that is dependable for the child and not spontaneous and then they are unsure of when they will see the other parent. Time is not the same for a child.
- Time/contact with the other parent.
- Listen to your child when they do talk about the situation.
- Reassure them that it’s okay to feel sad or confused but mummy and daddy love them the same and that it is nothing to do with them… it’s not their fault.
- Do not over compensate for the change in the family dynamics. It does not help the situation. It does not make them ‘love’ you more. Your child loves both of you and you should not be making this time any harder or make them feel guilty about wanting to be with or love the other parent by trying to ‘buy’ their affection through over compensating.
