Smacking….should it be outlawed?
Should I dip my toe in this can of worms? It is a well talked about, often heated topic on whether it is ok to smack or not. Experts say there is no need to smack but rather use good guidance techniques, however when you poll parents, they don’t necessarily agree with the experts with a number of parents believing it is ok to smack a child.
But earlier this year experts from The Royal Australasian College of Physicians (RACP) called for law reform regarding the use of physical punishment to discipline children and urged Australian parents and caregivers to consider disciplinary alternatives. There are many countries that have outlawed physical punishment….33 so far and counting. And it is worth noting that the countries that have already banned physical punishment of children have also seen other benefits including increased early identification of children at risk of abuse, and very low rates of mortality associated with child abuse.
We have often discussed the use of smacking as a form of discipline and posed the question as to whether you find it an acceptable form, not to mention the media coverage surrounding it, but calling for law reform takes it to the next level.
It is not as clear cut as simply saying don’t smack. There needs to be support and alternatives that are not only proven but effective and positive methods to discipline. There also needs to be education about the potential harmful effects of physical punishment as well as negative outcomes.
While in the short term it may seen like physical punishment like smacking appears to be effective in stopping and /or shaping children’s behaviour in reality children just don’t learn from a smack. They don’t learn what is desired or how to change/rectify their behaviour all they are showing is compliance. They don’t learn the tools required to change, modify or deal with the trigger or situation/frustration behind the behaviour. It is simply a short term fix!
Studies have been done and show that smacking is not an effective technique. There is the general agreement that discipline is an essential component of good parenting/caregiving and most do aspire to use effective positive proven good discipline techniques. The term effective discipline is about guiding a child’s behaviour and providing tools to the child so that they are able to learn the appropriate behaviour. The best way to achieve and provide effective guidance is through a positive, loving, supportive relationship.
While most parents who smack are said to use it as a last resort this is still considered unnecessary by experts. It has slowly reduced as being seen as an acceptable a form of discipline in recent years, yet, it is still of concern.
There are plenty of reasons why smacking is not considered a good parenting practice. A child who is smacked will be less likely to concentrate or focus on completing tasks; they will be less likely to be able to control their emotions- such as regulate them and display appropriate behaviours. This is evidenced via a comparison with those of their peers who were not smacked but rather given an acceptable verbal talking to or even time out. There is also the concern from those opposed to smacking that those who do smack, may without intention lose control, and hurt a child.
Tips to alleviate the need for smacking:
Have a realistic routine.
Have established limits and guidelines and be consistent.
Be fair and take into account the child’s developmental stage.
Spend time with them… you will generally find their behaviour is less undesirable and they will be more receptive to guidance.
Take time to remove yourself so you can take a step back so you can calm down.
Assert yourself rather than command or demand- speak to them rather than yell at them.
Give them choices- explain what their choices are and what happens if the still continue to do what you are asking them no to- i.e.: playing with their food- they can leave the table or eat properly now. If they choose to leave the table they can come back when they are ready to eat or if they don’t want to return then that meal is over
Talk to them – keep them informed about what is expected or remind them about what will happen.
