Imaginary friends
I feel much more at ease knowing that 65% of children at one time or another has an imaginary friend. Both my girls have an imaginary friend.
My eldest had one from about 2 ½ yrs old and named her Charlie. She was, and still is a great friend. They have seen less of each other lately but still keep in contact, on their (pretend but tangible) mobile phones. It was a little tricky at times when they were the best of friends and was much closer as my little girl would ask could she come over to play or could she go over to her house- that made for some tactful wording of the answer.
My other little girls seemed to have one just so that she wasn’t left out when my eldest was busy playing with her imaginary friend. Of course the youngest had someone to play with then too. Hers was called ‘Doc’ and they have parted ways as she thought he was a bit nasty. She chose it to be a boy.
The four would have play dates at times too…..that was a hoot!
I have been lucky that they haven’t used their imaginary friends to shift the blame if there were ‘incidents’ as you often find many do with their imaginary friends. In that respect it could be said that they didn’t really take full advantage of the benefits of an imaginary friend as saw them as true friends and took the blame themselves if they did draw on the wall or spill that drink.
Imaginary friends are a part of a healthy childhood and can be something other than a human friend they can be an animal or mystical creature.
If your child has an imaginary friend it doesn’t mean they are lonely it’s more an indication they are creative and well, imaginative. They also can learn and play out social skills and try out different things. It can teach them empathy, compassion, share their feelings, helps them in dealing with things such as fears, they can be in control of the play/situation.
Sometimes an imaginary friend can be helpful to a parent as they can help them to see what the child is feeling in the way they play and act out their feelings and thoughts.
If your child prefers to only play with the imaginary child and not happily or willingly interact with others it may be a time to be aware that your child may have a problem that needs addressing.
The other thing to be aware of is if they are constantly using their imaginary friend to blame fior a situation then you will need to address the reaction in a positive way such as if they have spilt their drink AGAIN then this time you can say something like ‘it’s ok it was an accident but so we can all learn how to fix it you can help (named imaginary friend) clean it up.
The most important thing to do as an adult is not to ridicule or mock them about their imaginary friend but let them take the lead in this particular friendship and situation.
