Seriously!! Kids!! Pty Ltd

Tantrums

Empowering children to deal with the situation, allowing them to understand anger and frustration are normal feelings.

Tantrums are normal

Tantrums are bound to happen. Every child will have one at some stage. How we deal with them is the key. Remember you as an adult can still have a "tantrum" if things don't go right. Tantrums generally rear their ugly head between 2-4 years. We all know about the terrible twos as it is this age that it will hit with the biggest ferocity as they have not yet developed strategies to deal with their feelings and frustration and so they will have a tantrum at one time or another.

It is primarily as a child may know what they want but can't express it, or if they are told no it is then that they can't deal with the frustration and can’t express it in words. Bear in mind that if you respond aggressively then the child will respond aggressively, or learn that that is the way to approach a situation. It will not help in the long or short term.

The causes of a tantrum can range but putting yourself in a child’s shoes and being able to understand their viewpoint will assist you in dealing with the tantrums. How you tackle the tantrum is important as this is then transferred down to how the child reacts further, how the situation is rectified and then how to steer clear of them in the future. How you deal with a child is individual and dependant on their age. Ideally you need to empower the child to feel that they are in some sort of control over their feelings and decisions as this then allows for you to get them to take ownership of their behaviour, helps them to learn about problem solving, sharing, etc. It opens up the lines for reasoning if they feel they have input into things.

Tips:

Have clear expectations and guidelines.

Be consistent

Distract the child’s attention to another object, place, thing, etc.

Speak calmly down at their level.

Tell them what you do want and focus on the good behaviour

Don’t get frustrated and shout or become aggressive back.

Ask them to talk to you...to tell you what the problem is (depending upon their age and vocab). This allows them to feel you are respecting their feelings and gets them to verbalise the problem and you can both find a solution.

Be alert for possible triggers to a situation and try to pre-empt these.

Take cues from the child.... if they are tired they will be more likely to not be able to cope with circumstances.

Remove the child from the situation so they can calm down. Remaining at the 'spot' allows them to focus on the issue of why the tantrum started.

Be aware that if there is more than one child and only one toy that an argument and ultimately a tantrum may occur. You can help to alleviate this by playing with them

Supervise.

Interact and ‘muck’ in with their play. If you are part of their play you can help to guide a potential tantrum from becoming a full blown one.

Give children some choice so that they feel they are in control of some part of their world.

Accept that regardless of what you may try or do sometimes a tantrum just will happen.

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