Obstacles to effective behaviour management

Behaviour management can seem daunting, overwhelming and even exhausting.

Although if you break it down it is about identifying the root cause of a child’s behaviour and guiding the behaviour.

It includes providing the opportunity for a child to understand the reason behind the behaviour and equip them with the tools to deal with the issue or trigger.

Behaviour is often influenced by a child’s experience, stage of development, age, trigger factor and the environment.

Therefore, it is key to keep in mind these factors when establishing an individual behaviour guidance strategy.

Getting the right balance in guiding a child’s behaviour child can be challenging, time consuming and requires a lot of patience.

A child needs lots of opportunity to learn the skills required to adapt and cope with their behaviour.

What works for some children doesn’t always work for others. Focusing on the cause or the triggers for a behaviour is key.

Being mindful of the age and stage of a child is vital in the understanding, identifying and addressing the behaviour.

Sometimes, when we are in the process of attempting to tackle the behaviour we may unintentionally create barriers when guiding children’s behaviours.

Barriers can reduce the implementation of positive guidance and impede effective behaviour management techniques.

If we can identify potential barriers we can then adjust our strategies and methods which should result in more positive outcomes.

• Guidance helps children develop self-control and self-esteem. It teaches right from wrong. Punishment might restrain/stop a child temporarily, but it does not teach them the appropriate way to deal with a situation or alternative behaviour. Punishment can even damage the carer-child relationship by reducing a child’s trust in the adult.
• Believing that what works one time will work all the time: The way you guide your children needs to keep pace with their age and stage of development. Different ages and stages, as well as different children, require different techniques.
• Having the belief that by having difficulty in guiding our child’s behaviour equates to being ‘bad’ carer: This is most certainly not the case. Behaviour guidance is hard. It takes time. It takes trial and error and consistency in the approach. Don’t put yourself down if you don’t get the results you want. Think it through and try again. Some things don’t work for some children or don’t work all of the time. The fact that you worry about being one makes you a better one than you give yourself credit for.
• Children are unique and special. They develop at their own speed, in their own way. You can’t always have the “perfectly” behaved child in every situation every time. Sometimes it is not going to go ‘your way’ and if you expect them to be perfectly behaved at all times you are setting yourself up for stressful situations. Keep in mind your child’s age and stage of development as this helps to remind you what you can expect from them. They should not be expected to behave perfectly or a certain way all the time.
• Believing that you must ‘win’ every ‘battle’: Instead pick your battles. Don’t fight over unimportant issues but do be consistent in the “battles” you choose.
• Disagreeing about the way to guide behaviour in front of the child. Solve serious disagreements in private as you always show a united front in front of the children will mean that they understand that they can’t pit one against another, that there is consistency in the approach from all involved with the guidance.